April 2013
1 post
3 tags
speaking in 2/4 time
i tell of these,
the dizzying wounds
on my imagined self,
mouth tasting of
thinned out blood.
i sleep in 3/4 time,
yet restlessly wait on
my bed, tracing shadows
on the ceiling with
my imagined hands.
i try it all in 4/4 time,
my imagined limbs heavy
with fallen spring snow.
i avoid your eyes in 6/8 time,
returning to the place that i
first dreamed up my...
January 2013
5 posts
2 tags
sometimes i think i’d like to
turn myself into something
different.
go out, buy a pack of
cigarettes,
become a hostile environment;
turn myself into a person
my mother would hate.
3 tags
i call this
psychiatric exhibitionism;
watch me bend over
backwards to
press a rope against
my throat.
come see me
swallow a
bottle of pills and
walk along a trapeze of
“is she still breathing?
i thought i saw her
move.”
observe as i
count the ways
one person can
die.
2 tags
you’re the blood stain i can’t
wash out of my shirt
cause of death:
inattentiveness
water stains on the
ceiling, on my skin
exploding head syndrome, i can
see lights above the surface
the kind of activity that
gives me chills
i can see your teeth pressing
bite marks into my wrist
i’ve lost the battle
and the war too
so many different kinds of
ash between my...
2 tags
i miss the normalcy of feeling
the edge of things;
the edge of your heart,
your eye,
the edge of your skin
i can’t count all the
broken things
or the missing people, the
chances i won’t take
i miss you when you’re
leaving, when you’re so close to
gone,
i miss you when you’re near
to me
you’re a ghost of a thing
i don’t know anymore
2 tags
i dream of being
a broken thing
with too long
bones and
white,
white teeth.
i dream of being
a broken thing
with broken glass lips
and eyes so
deep.
i dream of being
a broken thing
with moth-like wings
and a too sharp
beak.
am i lovely
am i lovely?
how could anyone love
a broken thing
with poison apple skin
and cracked,
pointed feet?
monstrous,
monstrous,
i have a...
December 2012
6 posts
3 tags
loving vs. caring
you drive yourself like
a high speed chase.
can’t slow down can’t
turn back,
highway signs lit up like
salvation like freedom;
there are no turnoffs.
i’m sorry that i
lived here i’m sorry for
the noise.
i’m sorry you confused
my heart with dried up
sidewalk leaves.
if the wheels keep
turning this way we might
have bigger problems
weighing on our spines.
i can’t tell you what...
2 tags
i cough out dreams i
can’t remember come morning,
my skin a stretched out canvas for
words i never wish to
see again.
to walk down hallways
with hollowed bones,
to have a lightness not found in
the darkest of nights;
i would trade all the wealth
to become a hollow,
spineless thing.
i have not a quicksilver tongue,
i bite my lip til it’s bloodied,
but for you i would be...
2 tags
long gone lovers
press unto your mouth a
bruising kiss;
beneath my fingers a
far cry from emptiness.
paper edges the cure for my
loneliness; i think you taste like
sleeping sickness.
drown my thoughts in
eyes like dried up leaves;
claw at my insides,
as my lungs heave.
picking ash from beneath
my fingernails;
i lean over the edge,
grasping at the rails.
when you’re dead and gone,
your skin (i...
2 tags
no martyr
i made a deal with the devil:
give me breath while i drown,
give me blood on my cheek,
give me love with sharp teeth and
a body count.
i was dragged to hell by
red eyes and a
hero complex, claws at
my throat,
voice caught.
i gave it up,
i gave up everything.
why is there still water
in my lungs?
you can’t save everyone
a thing i once said.
it’s true, it’s true...
4 tags
you say you feel
empty but i don’t think
people work that way
you have so many things
you want to say even if
your tongue won’t work
them right and they
jumble when you
try to force the
words out
but they wait until
moments
(when it’s dark when it’s
quiet)
you think of other’s
words
so you laugh and
you cry and
want to be told you
are loved
...
3 tags
i am two parts statuesque
fingers pressed into marble
carved indentations
no persephone for me
thank you
please
i build my own hell
with eyes
they terrify
god, i only feel pretty while
empty!
is this what they meant by
starving artist
exhausting to eat a
pomegranate seed
it’s nauseating
nauseasous
to be nauseated/to cause nausea
will i break to pieces in the
wrong...
November 2012
2 posts
4 tags
late night train/a study in personhood
is this what wanderlust
feels like?
am i trapped in the skin of my
home or the
wooden framework of
my body?
moles are mapmarkers
saying: i was here,
here,
and here.
eyelashes make frosted
trees through my window;
seen in passing or
not at all.
travel from toes to
fingertips and
study elevation lines.
if i could see myself like
i see the places i’ve been or
will be;
...
2 tags
i’ve got that slow burn,
scented scar tissue
on my lips.
keep your eyes shut;
can’t taste while waking.
i am the
forgotten one. so
animal beneath my skin.
if i peer out the
fish bowl i can almost
pretend that’s what i am;
backwards glass,
tv wave static,
tap tap
tap.
October 2012
2 posts
2 tags
i wish to crawl out of my flesh
and be the first person to
escape themselves
i would tear myself in half
if i could
but i awake each morning
and stare at my hands
or claw at a troubled mind and think
‘oh, but i am still here.’
perhaps i hate myself a little more
each day
2 tags
this is the fragile
taste of you on the
back of my tongue
over there is the
exit music to a disappearance
you’re dancing under
street lights and the
sky looks icy
breath like a twisted
hurricane
mixing shades of murky thought
that night your eyes were like
car radio static and then
they never were again
September 2012
1 post
2 tags
i hate you in
principle
like a white person who
hates racism or
like i hate people
who
wear socks to bed
(we’ll never really get it,
you know? but
goddamn
we can try
we can try)
August 2012
1 post
2 tags
soft traces of a spine
thin skin a fragile cover
a thread of life made from
bone and cartilage brows draw in; eyes narrow
a freckled expanse of
back
speckled like a star map
constellations drawn with
pointed fingers
andromeda, cassiopeia
cygnus, hydra
lupus
July 2012
1 post
6 tags
i can’t brush
my fingertips over
intangible things and
i can’t scrape my
nails over ideas
i can’t press my lips to
your voice in the afternoon
a soft kiss for soft words
but i can run my fingers through
your hair and press
my lips unto yours and i think
that may be good enough for me
June 2012
1 post
2 tags
you are the dream
move quiet in the dark (walk with care for you know not where you may step) illuminate my toes with starlight and ashes drape the blue cloth of night over my eyes a sigh as soft as baby’s breath weave gold and silver through my lashes i will weep for our many dreamless nights
May 2012
14 posts
2 tags
there is no sleep for us
this is a disaster but wonders upon wonders we’re creating stars behind our eyelids it’s like falling but slower with a scratch i can wipe lights away my words are split second thoughts you can’t grin and bear this i can’t handle it i don’t do fragile i don’t do gentle i’m not made of glass bite my lip and turn into steel
2 tags
i don’t like mirrors
because all they tell me
is that my heart is caving in
faster than i had wanted
2 tags
in your head
you wish you
were a shadow
you’re so patient as you
hide where the light
can’t touch
but you’ve forgotten
how it is to
feel
2 tags
you’re awkwardly wrapping
your arms around yourself
and your fingers around a
cigarette
“you’re such a failure,
why do you do this to
yourself?”
but you’re smirking
and i just want to tell you
to brush your hair out of
your eyes
and to learn to hold
your hands on your own
i’m not lying
when i say
“for real, this time,”
after...
2 tags
i can’t look
at your bruised wrists and
your boney ankles
i’d like to look at you the same
“i can’t sit still
at times like these,”
and i know it’s a question
for me
“you’re an anomaly,
why do you try to live alone?”
“i don’t think anyone
could want a broken thing.”
somehow i relate
2 tags
i can count you on my fingers
what do you do with yourself?
do you sleep at night? can you?
you run farther than me
i don’t try to catch up anymore
i’d follow you i’d follow you
but i can’t run or walk or move
life is a labour
2 tags
you’re sharp and quick
(silverlike? words fail me)
you like to hold my breath
for hours on end
a dull aching beneath my
shattered ribcage
(it’s dark and my fingers look
awkward and broken)
somehow i blame you for
all misfortunes like
the thoughts i can’t
drown in the backyard pond
you make me feel like
hiding
4 tags
the thing about moonlight
is the way it hits the curve of bone
and drowns out the ivory appeal
it’s slow and carefully planned
(sunlight just isn’t the same)
it isn’t something you’re able to hide
(not that sunlight is but
why would you want to hide it
anyways?)
you can’t hide your thoughts in
moonlight
(i want to i want to)
it’s like (lambs to...
2 tags
hush hush darling i’m just a common man you have lips that can sink ships and all i have is a death wish and lungs filling with cold cold water
4 tags
a gift for rory
you are dandelion fields and a dragon above the ocean you dream of dreams where our dreams never end you never bring fingers to lips in want of quiet you can yell in a graveyard and dance through wheat fields you cross all of the fences because you know it’s not over until the very end
4 tags
a gift for morgan
you light fires in hearts and weave flowers into crowns you built a cobblestone forest and a castle of down your kingdom sits by the ocean edge and that’s where you’ll be too where the sea meets the sky and the trees greet the meadows you watch the clouds pass through and if centuries pass and no one shares your magic kingdom with you you’ll open a book and find a nook and...
3 tags
i can never force myself into anything because i can feel myself physically resisting it i wish my words could roll off my tongue without my needing to think about them why do i think and think and think and think and why do i force myself to think? why can’t i just be?
2 tags
i swear i can
smell your thoughts on
your jacket
and they’re
the same as mine
“can we forget
it’s been five years
and pretend we still love
eachother?”
i already have
and still do
2 tags
i don’t know
how to ignore
the faces in the sky
i get so claustrophobic
in big empty spaces
and feel guilty when i
see those faces
(i’m sorry i couldn’t
save you)
it had to end this way
didn’t it? didn’t it?
(please tell me
i did everything right)
i can’t bring myself
to look at the things i’ve
made (futures changed)
or see how much of...
April 2012
7 posts
3 tags
i'm just sad all the time
i swear i’m not weak
like the rest of
them
and i can get
over this but
i just can’t force
myself into thinking
in colour
3 tags
i drank oceans
with
cold blue lips and i’d
break hearts with a
salty kiss
my heart feels so
faded and dead
i’ve forgotten
how to swim but i’ll
try to learn again
if i can salt your
wounds one
last time
3 tags
i sometimes pretend
my life is
satire
my hands are
tied behind my
back
3 tags
i’ve realized that
the person
i looked up
to
never really
existed
and that
i never meant
as much to
you
as you meant to
me
you’re so
selfish and i
see that now
you imagine your life
as a fairytale
go lose yourself in
wonderland
3 tags
i have
become disenchanted
with the idea of
happiness
i’d say it
was bound to
happen
but i don’t
think that’s
true
3 tags
i’ll sleep in this oasis surrounded by molded shadows people made of putty nightmares are crawling up my back moving like an insect i’m looking for my dream eater in the desert
3 tags
i will sail the
blood red ocean
of my thoughts and
hope so strongly that
i find whatever it is
i think i need
i think i’m drowning
March 2012
9 posts
3 tags
i'd travel so far
i’ve always
wondered if
when we die our
bodies just
break apart into
billions of tiny atoms
to become something
new
or if we join the stars in the night
sky
3 tags
it only brings me trouble
i explore my mind too often i don’t know why i blame you when i get lost or when i don’t like what i find
3 tags
i wish every moment every feeling could be rescued all the things worth keeping are so heart breakingly ephemeral
3 tags
i am my own
captive
and my mind
is my
cage
3 tags
if i could i’d
learn to talk
i mean things
i don’t say and i
push push
push
i would apologize but
i don’t know how
to do that
either
innermedley asked: Hi! I just wanted to tell you that I've just stumbled across your writing in search for posts for "recognizingthevoiceless" and have found a new fave in you. :) Have a great day!
3 tags
to see in the dark
my thoughts
are oceans
i pass the time
in waves that
come and
go
ebb and
flow
but sometimes
the tide
turns
and i wish my
thoughts were
the stars
2 tags
it's not something you can teach, is it?
i wish i were a dancer my limbs are foreign and strange to me if i knew how to move my body in the shape of my soul i should think that i’d never be still
3 tags
when i was younger
i would watch the stars and see
more than gas masses
